So . . . how's this Christmas season treating you?
It's treating me rather swell, for those curious.
I'll actually have money to spend on others this year, which is very nice. I don't have to feel selfish as I receive so many various gifts. But . . . if you want to get me something . . . you could never go wrong with money or ice cream . . . just sayin' . . . :)
So, here's a conclusion that I've come to today.
I am not special.
And probably never will be.
See, I've grown up my whole life with this mindset that I am what life is about, that what is happening is me and that I am special and whatever other crap is loaded in there. Sure, there isn't anyone like me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to change the world, it doesn't mean I am what's most important in my everyday situations, and it most certainly does not mean that my desires come first. And when I say desires, I mean wants. I don't imply the connotation that the church does. I include some of those, but it isn't limited to 'lustful wishes.' Yuck. I feel gross just saying that. But everyone has those, so I won't go about denying that I don't. But I always thought of myself different, that I was an exception, I was a saint, and whenever I made a mistake, it had been made with an excuse coming in a nicely wrapped package. Because, if I mistake, it's definitely JUST a mistake, but if someone else makes one? I criticize them until they are nothing but dirt. I place the blame on them. No blame is on me, but it is all their fault.
We do this everyday.
We care about our own feelings so much, because that is the one thing we feel to be true.
We can't be positive that other's have feelings.
But we can be positive that we do.
And that's why we act with ourselves in mind.
Because that's all we care about.
It's sad and gray, but whatever. Life is life. We're just the pests that are feasting on whatever this planet can give us.
Well, I have great friends, you guys. Just thought I'd let you all know. I am so insane, and yet they tolerate me to a ridiculous amount. In fact, they tolerate me and go as far as calling me THEIR friend! I'm sure I'm a heavy weight sometimes, but thanks for sticking through all the crud that we've gone through.
I love cold weather, but I'd rather be warm next to you.