I Know A Thing About Contrition Because I've Got Enough To Spare

Here I am again! Hello world! I have nothing else better to do, so I am here, on this blog. Again. You see, I'm grounded. Woops! Excuse me, I'm "not grounded, my privileges are being restricted." Oops! I almost forgot. >:P

Again, I won't reveal the details of what happened on Saturday, but let's just say there were lots of exaggerations and lots of crap that didn't really need to happen.

And yep.

It's all my fault.

Every freaking percent.

I sound angry, and that's really because I sort of am. I feel like a jerk, but like I said, I am. My dad's having his huge party today and whatever for his birthday, but the last thing I want to do is be around loads and loads of people.

Awesome. I get to fake being happy AGAIN.

I'm an awful person, do any of you realize this? Even though I have so many people rooting for me, I still resort to being like this. And why? I have a clue or two. But those are for the mind of Brett and not many people else.

So many secrets.



"I'm not looking for sweet talk, I'm looking for time."

Those are lyrics from the song Sweet Talk by The Killers. It's a good song, and the lyrics are really good. I listen to it to help me feel better and whatever. But feeling better apparently isn't my problem. I need to stop being so selfish. Because that's really what I'm being. I'm just thinking about myself, non-stop. I do care about how other people feel right now, but really not as much to do anything about it. It's a low, you know?

F.Y.I., that rhymed.

Yet, we're all selfish, aren't we? We work so hard to fulfill those needs that we have, because we only have a complete surety of our own satisfaction.

For we are who we are.

And I am who I am.

I just don't know what it will take for other's to realize this.



So many thoughts rushing through my head, a million miles an hour. Each one whirling in a twister of whatever one might call my mind. Be it a disaster or an easel, I couldn't care less right now.

Not in a mood for profound stuff, you know?



You know what's good? Money.

You know what else is good? Ice cream.

And best friends. Who I can't be with right now.

Just.

Awesome.

Ha! Haha! I am ridiculously not myself right now! I have transformed into a sniveling snake, trying to escape the foot that's trapping my scales. Why do I keep talking? WHY? Am I going crazy? Oh, yes I am.

Oh man. Yes I am.



This isn't meant to be read. It's meant to be said.

F.Y.I., that rhymed too.



Do you realize how much our bodies can't take care of themselves? Do you realize how many drugs you actually use? I can bet you anything you've used one today already. A million bucks. I can bet a million bucks. Actually, I can't. Because that requires a million bucks, which I don't have.

But you know what I do have?

A conscience.