Yes, yes, yes, I know. I haven't posted on this blog for, I don't know, forever. It's just that life has been a bit stressful and I haven't quite found enough time to say the things I wish to say. But just let me say this. My life has changed. I don't know if it's for the better or not.....I have learned a few things I really wished I hadn't learned. I have done a few things that I'm glad I've done. But yet, there is this overbearing feeling that my life isn't what it used to be. It's strange, and I feel somewhat depressed at the moment.
Have you ever felt like you were just a face in a sea full of faces? I keep having this feeling like I'm so small in this world and nothing I do will matter, but still, what's going to happen to me? I am a jumbled up mess of hopelessness. Confusion rots my core and indecisiveness plagues my heart. I feel like a h helpless child caught in a tornado of twisting events that plan to uproot my being and destroy my hope. I'm scared for the future. I.............am a nut case.
I feel like that rather often. I'm just a freak. Just some insane human being who wasn't really meant to be on this earth anyway. Some human that has something completely wrong with them. A freak. I know I'm just beating up on myself, but I don't know how I can get this feeling away from me. It seems to be grasping on to my mind everywhere I turn. I just wish I meant the world to some one. I feel like....Like I'm not enough. I feel as if I can't reach where others want me to be. Politics and self consciousness crash down on me like a thousand tons. Depression rains on my world, trying to stop me from living.
The world is falling. People are not where they should be. So many selfish people destroying so many lives.......
I don't know where to turn....Do I truly have friends? Or are they there just to make me feel better? Am I truly a friend to them? What defines true friendship?
DARG!!! Just wish I had a genie right here and right now. Poop.
I have a headache....Goodbye friends. Don't let fear burden your hearts. And don't be a butt-kisser.
aw but butts taste so good Brett!! hahahahaha totally kidding. thats nasty.
ReplyDeleteand hang in there! it'll work out. i promise :)
My dear friend, I feel like you're changing too, and like you said, whether it's good or bad, I cannot tell. I just want you to know that... I'm always here for you to come to or talk to, whenever, about whatever, I'm here for you Brett, I truly consider you to be one of my best friends, I want to make you feel better, but that's not the sole reason of you being my friend. Love ya Brett.
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