I'm Going Crazy Without You

A sick jealousy overtakes me as a boy confesses his love to an innocent and loving girl. They take hands and walk together. Everyone is more than happy for the both of them. Everyone is excited.
Everyone cares.
But all that matters to them in the world is each other.

People say they can understand this chilling and bruising of the heart, but I know they don't. You can't. You might have a small taste, but you don't know. You can't really know.


Ahh . . . . One of the many complications of life that seems to captivate my heart and mind daily.
The search for love.

Honestly, to me, the whole subject is confusing in and of itself. It's almost saddening when "the professionals" say that the strongest drive in humans is that of the sexual drive, stating love comes from that.

Sexual?

Why does it have to be? Does it have to be? Last time I checked, I wasn't longing for the skin of someone else, but rather their hand to take in mine, their mouths to speak honesty and kindness and love.
Sexual?

I have absolutely no doubt that sexual drive is a major part for the majority of the human race.

But why do I feel like it's different for me?


Maybe if I find love, it might be what I thought it would be. But I'm so scared of the possibility that it won't be.

Am I just different?


Lonely but not alone. I guess that's how I feel.



On the brighter side, I did get asked to Morp today. They left an egg carton that said, "I would be so 'Egg-cited' if I went to Morp with you. I bet you're 'dye-ing' to find out who this is." Next to the carton was an egg-dying kit. Each letter of their name was on an egg. It turned out to be a good friend, so I was let down by the fact that it wasn't Selena Gomez. But oh well, I guess there's always a next time.


Hey, fun news for everyone . . . I GOT A FREAKING C- LAST TERM. OH MY HECK. ALL A'S AND
ONE
FREAKING
C-

It lowered my whole cumulative GPA from a 3.98 to a 3.0

GOIOWU)@(#*&@)(J@)F( 09808@RIU o )(*& @)u )(* 09f* @)#(* ijssoi0
^
|
(That's me being angry.)


Grr. I better be able to fix that, because I can assure it wasn't my fault completely. Blah. I hate everything.


Make a promise to me, everyone; DRIVE SAFE. This snow is crazy stuff. It's pretty n' all, but under that beautiful and seemingly innocent sparkling whiteness is a dark and hidden desire to kill you.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
Snow is out to get you, yo. As soon as you and snow become friends on the road, it says, "JK LOLOLOLOL" and slides your car into various dangerous places. Moral of the story is kill people before they trust them. Well, I mean, they can't do anything wrong if they're dead, right?


Oh my. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN. You just read that last paragraph, right? Well, yikes. Just yikes.


School's fine, y'all. Got pretty good classes with people I like. Got a job, which means a steady income, which means LOTS OF GOOD THINGS.







I have all that I need,





So what is this emptiness I feel?