The wasted hours of times that should not have been wasted.
Two friends that say they care, but we all know they don't.
A surprise party for a seemingly pointless boy that is more important than I am.
And the cold snow outside.
What I am even supposed to do right now? I write, I draw, and I listen. Hoping that perhaps those might get me out of this funk.
I just don't understand. I treasure friends more than anything. How other people feel are always my first priority. I always listen to others.
So why does no one listen to me?
I don't get the chance to say what I want.
What I need.
I walk into something feeling safe, and all I do is hurt myself because of it.
It happens over and over again.
Over and over.
Over and over.
Just like the broken record I am.
Just like the liar I am.
Just like the attacker I am.
Just like the frustration I am.
Just like the burden I am.
In case you want to know, all of those things that I mentioned are all things that I've been called. Not by enemies, but by friends.
By my own freaking friends.
What am I doing wrong?
I thought I had enough problems.
But apparently not.
What I wouldn't give for one wish.
Just one wish.
You are not a broken record, a liar, an attacker, a frustration, nor a burden. Especially not a burden.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I couldn't be there for you tonight.
I love you! You should have come to Maya's party today. I would have made you feel really special because you are MY good friend. Not just my nephew. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteJanelle, don't be sorry. You can't be sorry. Because it wasn't your fault at all, and it's all good. Being my friend is more than enough. Let's spray paint soon.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you Shannon. :)
Sorry you had a rough patch, I hope it's better now... just out of curiosity, what would that wish be?
ReplyDelete