They Wanna Get My Gold On The Ceiling

Today was one of those alone days.
Not a day where I was alone the whole time,
but a day I felt alone.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel awfully alone. I feel like I can't talk to friends, because I feel like I don't have any. Good golly. It's an awful feeling, really. I am afraid to speak, because I've made mistakes before that I can't repeat. But I need to talk so bad. I can't stay shut up forever. I don't know. . . . I need to start taking action, because, I find, the more I sit around, waiting for others to find me and care about me, the more I hopeless I feel.

A friend of mine wrote on her blog that my blog is really negative.
And Oh My is that true.
I'm really quite the downer, aren't I?
It's just so hard to focus on the good in life when it seems like there are so many things that aren't.

BLAH.

I can say one thing that was good though. I went and saw Batman at midnight.

Freaking Mother of All Things Beautiful was that a FANTASTIC movie! I won't say much about it, besides the fact that it's in my top three now, along with Prince of Egypt and Emperor's New Groove. GOOD GRAVY! Great stuff! Go watch it NOW if you haven't seen it, and I'm not kidding when I say now. So go! NOW! FREAKIN' NOW.

And something else good? On an AWESOME game called Street Fighter X Tekken, new characters are coming out in TEN days! Sweet biscuits! I'm so dang excited! You see Cody to the right there? Yes, the one in the jail suit? He's one of them. There's a reason he's there, because he is the definition of kick-@$$. WOOH! So psyched, guys! You don't understand! You might, but I highly doubt it. If you do, please marry me.

So, if you're a good friend reading this, call me now please. I do need it. I don't have half of your numbers. Actually, I lied. I don't think I have any, so call me. Really. I'm sick of being lonely. Not necessarily alone, but lonely.

I've been feeling that way quite often.

Listenin' to The Black Keys right now. They are a group I've just started listening to, and I'm pretty much addicted. Scratch that, I'm addicted. A friend introduced me, and I'm almost obsessed. If you like Franz Ferdinand, you'll LOVE this group. And if you don't like Franz Ferdinand, you'll love this group anyways. And if you don't love them, well dang! Don't know what to tell you!

I don't know how to describe how I feel, but here's a segment of the chaos in my mind in the words of a song. The song is Save by The Rocket Summer.


I'm not feelin’ touch
I'm not makin’ that much
And I guess I am blessed
But sometimes it’s just hard to see it as such

I'm stuck here alone in the traffic lines
While couples in love in the HOV fly by
I don't get it, I'm not askin’ for much
But everybody wants to just have somethin’

So I'll be pickin’ me up, breakin’ me down
I was lost, was I found?
I wanna feel everything
When everything feels wrong with me

Take a look, embrace myself
Everybody wants to make it count
Save me, ‘cause I can never float sinkin’
Amaze me and I would be there holdin’ on for life


The Rocket Summer has tons of songs that help me cope and help me live. Bryce Avary (The Rocket Summer) is no doubt my favorite band and my favorite person. He is my hero. Geez . . . I wish I was his best friend. If I could talk to him JUST once.


I have to go to my chambers to sleep now. I bid thee all farewell, for I hope the world will be better by morning.


Have a good night's rest.

Because I won't be getting any.