Mama, We're All Full Of Lies

I cannot tell you how long it has been since I've written on here. I've said that on other posts, because I haven't written for a month or so, but,

It's been a freaking five months.

Five. Freaking. Months.

I'm listening to "Mama" by My Chemical Romance. It's a good song. It's probably on my top five. Are you listening to it right now? Oh, you aren't? THEN GO AND LISTEN TO IT. It's a negative song, but it's actually, just . . . . . . pure awesomeness. I love it.

Those who are reading this, I still don't understand how you enjoy my writing. I won't question your taste in writing or whatever, I just find it hard to believe that the words I say are worth hearing. I just write and write and write and write, and it all sorta is this mess some might call spaghetti, but I see it more as a salad involving cake and eel sushi. (Which is really good, by the way! Well, eel sushi. NOT eel sushi and cake.)

Today we dropped my dear brother Kyle off at the MTC.

Oh my glob.

I've never experienced a more dead and depressing day in my life.

Everyone was BAWLING their eyes out, and I felt rather selfish and somewhat broken, because I wasn't crying. Like, at all. I just sat there, unable to really think about what was really happening. I find that I actually don't cry about much anymore. Not funerals. Not farewells. Not testimony meetings. Just, not much at all really. But anywho, we went to The Smoking Apple before we dropped him off, which is a DELICIOUS barbecue restaurant thing. And afterwards we went to go and see The Avengers, which is probably the most excellent movie I've ever seen. That movie restores my faith in humanity. GAH! If movies were compared to drugs, (which in my mind, they are) I felt like I was taking Ecstasy and Angel Dust AT THE SAME TIME.

All in all, it was excellent movie, and a sad day.

Kyle will be missed. Kyle was the brother I have always been jealous of, yet he has been such the example. He had it all. The looks, the friends, the proud parents, the spirituality, the physical strength, the social life, the charismatic personality . . . The list goes on and on. I just feel like life is just going to get a lot more difficult, because now that Kyle's gone, I have a lot more to live up to. I love Kyle. Life will never be the same without him. He never failed to make me smile everyday with his stupid goofy antics, even if I was extremely dark that day.

Kyle,

There is no way you will ever fail on your mission. There's a reason you're out there.

Well, now I've got the sappy stuff done. Thankfully. Yikes. :( I had to leave my house because I hated the over all sad feeling everywhere. I don't like feeling sad. Some kinds of sadness can be addicting, but now I know what happiness is like, and I hate sadness. It hurts to be sad, and I don't like it at all.

At all.

I'm being kicked off the computer, so I'll inform you all soon on more of whatever is going on in my life. I'll have another post by the weekend at the latest.

Yours Truly,
Brettward

(Yay! My best friend is finally home from New York!)