A Drink for The Horror that I'm In, For the Good Guys and the Bad Guys, for the Monsters that I've Been

Today I have a feeling that you feel when you watch the salt wisp away from the rolls of the ocean.

A feeling of horrid emptiness. A feeling of freakish insignificance.

My best friend decided not to go to youth conference, and for some reason I feel guilty. I feel responsible, even though I had no play in it whatsoever. Yet I almost did. I talked to him, telling him it was his choice, really. Yet, I really don't know. I just feel like I bring the people I'm with downwards. I have Trek next week, and I'm not all that excited to go. So many musical whatevers that I've was involuntarily volunteered for. I don't like this stress. I thought school was supposed to over. It is, but it feels as though it hasn't left because so many things are here to replace it. Why can't the world just be perfect?
"Nothing's perfect." Everyone says.
But why not?
Because then, finally, everything and everyone would be enough.

I'm sorry for making you all read about my stupid problems.

Here I harbor my darkest thoughts. Actually, scratch that. Here is the non-scarring thoughts that I have. This is the river before the cave.

Geez. I'm going to stop.

I hate dragging other people down.

I am responsible.



(For everything that happens)

I just want to write a song.



Girl, where are you when I need you?