Emotionally Flushed Down The Toilet

Life is a conspiracy in and of itself.
I look at the world and become sad. Because, the way I see it, the human race has failed as a whole. We all just darkened the world. This earth is corrupt. Physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Sadness. And despair.
I just wish I could do something to improve EVERYONE'S lives. Just, something, (that doesn't cost money, because I'm afraid I don't have any of that at all.) that could help, but just like my friend Mindy, I just feel like a helpless freak who is just a nuisance to everyone I know. (Well, you are most DEFINITELY not a nuisance to everyone you know, Mindy, you are just the opposite. I was not saying that you are a freak at all. I just worded that weird....Love you Mindy!!!) Anywho, after that long and in-depth explanation, I fear of how I affect others quite often. Do I come off as a positive person to most people, or am I obnoxious? Do people like me? Or do they just pretend to, just because they don't want to be rude? Hmm, life is full of unanswered questions. I just wish I had answers. WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO HAVE SO MANY FRICKIN' SECRETS????? I'm so tired of secrets. All they do is complicate everyone's lives and destroy feelings. I hate them. I LOATHE them. There, I just used a word stronger than the word hate.
I must say, looking at the lives of other people, my parents are actually pretty great. Sure, my dad is a little bit TOO religious, and sure, he is a little weird, if not over-reactive at times, but my mom is FREAKING AWESOME!!! I'm completely serious. She understands me, and is just, so, so, FUNNY! I would tell you all of a story that most of you have probably heard, but I'm afraid I can't post it on here because of younger/immature audiences. :) But for those of you who HAVE heard it, it's the cake story. There you go.
I'm so tired today, just emotionally AND physically. Just completely drained. And that's why I happen to be on here. Just thought I'd tell all of you.
Sometimes I fear of other people's expectations, but in complete honesty, most of the time it's actually my expectations that I am trying to live up to. My mother keeps trying to explain this to me, and I think I'm finally beginning to grasp the idea. For example, I just barely figured out my mom doesn't give a darn if I get a 4.o or not. So I realized that even that factor of grades, is simply because I feel the need for myself to get good grades, and it's not because of my parents. Sure, there is always the obvious fear of me getting, like, a 2.5, but I HIGHLY doubt that will happen. I hope. :/
Life is strange. Sometimes, I just don't even know what to do with it. It is so compacted with crap from EVERYWHERE!! I am pretty much packed this week with school crap, crap, and more school crap. Darn you, school! I would use more vulgar words, but because of this religion I happen to be in, I am afraid I cannot. :)
STRESS!!! DARG!!!
There is a lot we can take from music. It affects me a lot. It can REALLY change how I feel. Like, it can destroy my moods and make me cry, or it can make me feel stronger. It can darken my mood or lighten up my day. It's interesting. And I think it's pretty "neat" how I can notice these things. I wish I were a superhero to at least one person.
Dang, I really just wish I were a super-hero.