Life changes much too often.
I ever so frequently think back on days in the past. Sure, there are some regrets, but there are always the good times too. There are a lot of friends that I really miss, a lot of times that I have begun remembering that sadden me, because they don't exist anymore. Times are weird these days. :|
True, I have new friends, and they are just as great as my old ones. But it's just....They can't replace them, if you know what I mean. What I am saying is in no way offensive, I just simply mean that you can't replace a friend ever, no matter how good or bad they were. I just feel like I have this hole that can't be filled...It's weird. I don't know what to do about it. I'm afraid if I start calling my old friends, they might think I'm some obnoxious freak or something. Hmm....I never seem to know what to do. :P
Life in general is just depressing right now. Well, it is Monday, true. Which means I have piano tomorrow, which means I most likely am not ready, which means she'll get mad at me, and life will become miserable as the usual. Darg....I REALLY need to stop complaining. It's really getting old. I just don't know who else to tell it to....
Blah. I just feel so hopeless at the moment...I really, really, REALLY need to talk to some one right now. ANYONE! Or I could just get some ice cream...No, I need to talk. Not eat. Though eating is always good. :) But, I'm just having trouble discovering who exactly I am, what I'm here for, what I'm supposed to do...I'm just lost. Simply lost. I feel like a wimp, because I'm emotional, and I'm a guy. And for who knows why, but it's an unwritten rule (apparently) in society that guys aren't supposed to be emotional. You know how that makes me feel? Even MORE emotional. DARG!!! I'm just so different from everybody else....Why the can't people accept that? Just for one FRICKIN' TIME IN THEIR LIFE?!?!?!?!
Life is hard. I'm crying...I don't know what to do. I fear for my future. I find myself getting jealous of all of those nearly perfect people who have their future's basically secured for them. A good future, too. I just...am afraid. I suppose I need some sleep, or something of that sort....good night to all.
I hope you all are doing better than I am. Please....just somebody talk to me.....
BRETT!!! I freaking miss you man!!
ReplyDeleteUmm yes. I'm very sorry. I know what you mean and the only advice I can give you is this: stay close to God. He is the ONLY person that has, does, and ALWAYS will know EXACTLY what you are going through.
Anddd... if you ever need to talk.. hook me up. I might not respond immediately but i WILL respond. especially when you tell me you need a response.. that helps. :P because I LOVE YOU!! And I love you why you ask? Because you are MY Brett Anderston. yes. anderston. You are my little brother. I gotta look after you! You might feel like the annoying little 9th grader sometimes but believe me... you're not. that would be I. Indubitably. And by the way... we all miss you. Seriously. If Kaylynn saw you she would probably freak out. She has commented a couple of times about how she misses YOU. You are awesome. Don't forget it. And.. enjoy life a little, Break some rules, let yourself be free, laugh a lot, and never forget you are LOVED. by a lot.
Love ALWAYS!!
erica :)
:) I have a good story about missing a friend like that. You're right, I do have this irreplaceable hole in my heart, but I can still have more occupied holes somewhere else in my heart for other friends.
ReplyDeleteBrett, I'm sorry for all the confusion in your life. :( Thats never fun. And you know that I will always be there for you, if you ever want to talk to let your anger, or anything else out so just call! I will always be there for you! We do need to hang out because we haven't done that for a while plus I also want to talk to someone who will listen.
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