I Can Live Without You, But Without You I'll Be Miserable At Best

The winter sky seems to come close with those clouds that I call friends. I walk on the sidewalk, my hands in my jacket pocket. The chill reminds me I'm alone.

Welcome to the cold of Autumn and the start of winter everyone! School tries to take advantage of this weather, so they love turning up the heat to about 102 degrees or so. Occasionally they're merciful and keep it at 101. Oh joy.

A lot has happened since . . . well, even since school started. I realize how young I am, how imperfect everyone is. Don't get me wrong, I still have an ever strong distrust and hatreds towards people, but there are still some pretty great ones out there. But then again, being a misanthropist is probably my own fault. Oh well. Frankly I don't give a dang. Because, being at a high school, you learn REALLY QUICK how stupid 90% of the human population is. Also, watching the election and Black Friday videos don't help at all. In fact, they're rather frightening. The videos, I mean. But people are frightening too.

I don't know about you, but I'm super psyched for the cold weather. Snow is the most beautiful weather, hands down. I don't care if I'm outside experiencing the glory or watching out my window as grace falls to the ground, snow is still beautiful and awesome. So awesome. Plus, for some unknown reason, I get pretty philosophical during the Christmas season. Like I said, I don't know why.
Speaking of which, I was at a mall in Idaho, and a few thoughts stemmed inside of my head. I kept thinking about the physical and temporal happiness we get from gifts. I was debating whether to give up getting presents this Christmas. I started to feel guilty and selfish, demanding specific gifts at the cost of what isn't even mine to start with. I watched adults run to different stores. I watched teenagers and kids alike screaming and crying because they weren't getting what they asked for. I saw people with loads and loads of bags with complaints still spilling out of their mouth like nasty waterfalls.

And . . .
It made me sad.

We all say, "Be thankful for all you have. Remember Christ."
And I get so sad,
Because it seems that no one is.
Everyday, I couldn't be more thankful for the things that I have. I have the best friends that a guy like me could ask for. I have a good family, freakishly fantastic cooks as parents, a great extended family, and siblings who care. I can draw. I can think. I have music. I have a testimony. I have almost everything I need and even want.

I used to be angry when people would talk about people they love, because I didn't know what that felt like.
But now I do.
I used to be angry when people would talk about things they would die for, because I didn't know what that felt like.
But now I do.

I may hate it that I am so sentimental, but, in some ways it's a good thing. Because it's so easy to love the things I have, and I would do anything to get them back when they're gone.


Last night was rough, but friends saved me. They came and drove me away,

Because they cared.
And I knew that they did.

I saw Wreck-It Ralph, (Which all you need to see. It's defs in my top 5) and I feel like that though it may seem like everything is going wrong, it actually is going to be fine. No matter what happens. Things change, and I get so afraid of that,

So afraid.

But part of life is conquering our fears. Without that courage, we are nothing.
Without friends,
We are nothing.

The red blood,
And the surgery table,
And the bullets,
And the masked doctors,
Seem to be nothing.

Because I'll always have what I need. I know I can always run.



I am such a sap.
I apologize.

But I'll post again soon, I promise.


I need to write a song.